I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
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