the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
