I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
There's always time for handjobs
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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