Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize