Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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