this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
