let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
