Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
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