how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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