There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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