if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
