ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
