if only i could text you this smell
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
We left the knife in your bed.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
