Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
