i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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