Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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