Whatcha textin bout Willis?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
