the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
