I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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