Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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