doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
