i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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