U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
