I'm really into asian looking animals
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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