I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
