It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
