what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
