Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
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