Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
i think i just lost a toe
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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