There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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