I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
