Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
