my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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