Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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