I didn't shave. On purpose
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
