they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
