a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
