At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
