just tell him i said nine months
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
