Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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