are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
