i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize