Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
