So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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