The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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