I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
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