No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
