i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
