I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
you are never too drunk for berry picking
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
