"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
