so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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