Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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