That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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