i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
and you fell through a lawn chair
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
