Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
