HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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