dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
