'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
