and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize