I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
