Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize